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  • Tom Goldstein

Unlock Your Midlife Adventure: How Not Knowing, Can Be Your Gateway to Fulfilment

Although it's a cliché, experience shows that many of us go through a kind of crisis somewhere between our early 40's and mid 50's where things are not as clear as they once were. You might be questioning your life decisions or wondering what comes next. You might feel uneasy or unsure about where you've ended up or where life is taking you. You might be busy, but without really knowing why and what for. Welcome to the milestone of your midlife adventure.

The first part of this article will explore some of the challenges of getting to this midlife milestone, and although it can feel heavy reading through these, the second part of the article explores ways to shift into a much more positive mindset with practical ways to get on track for recreating a fulfilling life full of meaning, purpose and direction.

What are some of the challenges of the midlife milestone?

We often experience unique challenges during a midlife crisis. While everyone's experience is different, there are some common difficulties that we tend to face during this transitional period:

Career dissatisfaction: Many people reach a point in their careers where they feel unfulfilled or stagnant. We may question our accomplishments and wonder if we have chosen the right path, leading to dissatisfaction and restlessness.

Physical changes: As we age, we often experience a decline in physical strength, stamina, and health. This can lead to a sense of vulnerability and a loss of self-confidence, causing anxiety about our changing bodies.

Identity crisis: Midlife can trigger an identity crisis, as we question their roles as in our family, peer / friendship groups, relationships, work etc. We may struggle to find a sense of purpose or meaning in our lives, which can lead to feelings of emptiness or depression.

Fear of aging: We may become increasingly aware of our own mortality during midlife, leading to a fear of aging and the inevitability of death. This can result in a desire to cling to youth and a reluctance to accept the natural aging process.

Financial pressures: Midlife often coincides with increased financial responsibilities, such as supporting children's education, caring for aging parents, or planning for retirement. These pressures can cause stress and anxiety, exacerbating the challenges of a midlife crisis.

Relationship strain: When we experience these challenges around midlife, we may feel disconnected from our partner or struggle with maintaining intimacy. We might also be tempted to seek validation outside our primary relationships, leading to physical or emotional affairs.

Social isolation: As friends and family members settle into their own lives and routines, we can feel increasingly isolated during midlife. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and a sense of disconnection from those we've relied on for support.

Unrealised dreams: We may become acutely aware of unfulfilled dreams and ambitions during midlife, leading to regret or disappointment. We might feel that time is running out to achieve their goals, which can cause frustration and sadness.

Emotional expression: In our modern culture, we are often taught to suppress our emotions, which can make it difficult for us to seek help or openly discuss our feelings. This lack of emotional expression can exacerbate feelings of isolation and stress.

Societal expectations: We often feel pressure to adhere to societal expectations of success, such as climbing the corporate ladder, being a good provider, or maintaining a certain image. This can create stress and anxiety, as we struggle to balance our own desires with external expectations.

What can we do about all of this?

Perhaps you really have reached that midlife milestone, and suddenly, everything is up for question. Instead of labelling this as a crisis, consider it an opportunity for growth, adventure, and transformation. You have a unique opportunity to unlock your midlife adventure, and move toward a more fulfilling life. And this doesn't mean much needs to change, it might be a complete upheaval of your life, or it might be about a mindset change and finding clarity on your sense of meaning purpose.

The following are 6 keys that you can explore your current situation and create the experience of life that will bring you a much greater sense of fulfilment and purpose.

1) Identifying Core Values

Exploring your core values can help you get to the heart of what really matters to you. By identifying your core values, you can create a solid foundation for making important life decisions. This clarity will empower you to align your choices with your true self, leading to increased satisfaction and a greater sense of purpose.

2) Reconnecting with Dreams and Passions

Midlife is the perfect time to rekindle your inner flame and rediscover what truly excites and fulfils you. Reconnect with long-forgotten dreams and passions, encouraging you to explore new avenues of personal growth. You'll be amazed by the renewed energy and enthusiasm that come with pursuing your passions!

3) Setting and Achieving Goals

A midlife adventure can feel overwhelming, but by working with a sense of purpose and achievement, you'll develop a clearer roadmap for your future. They'll help you set achievable goals and provide the support and accountability you need to reach them. This structured approach will keep you motivated and ensure that you're consistently moving forward, building momentum toward the life you truly desire.

4) Enhancing Emotional Resilience

Life is full of ups and downs, and midlife is no exception. Emotional resilience, allowing you to bounce back from setbacks and maintain a positive outlook. This enhanced resilience will not only help you navigate your midlife adventure but also serve you throughout your entire life journey.

5) Building Confidence and Self-Belief

I believe that incrementally developing a strong sense of self-worth and confidence in your abilities and who you are is vital for a true sense of fulfilment in life. As you work through your midlife adventure, your coach will celebrate your achievements and remind you of your unique strengths. With a renewed sense of self-belief, you'll be better equipped to tackle the challenges that lie ahead and embrace the opportunities that come your way.

6) Cultivating a Support Network

Sometimes, we all need a little help from our friends. Strengthen your existing relationships and build new connections with like-minded individuals. Having a solid support network in place will ensure you're surrounded by positive influences, empowering you to stay focused and committed to your midlife adventure.


It's time to leave the idea of a midlife "crisis" behind and embrace the exciting adventure that awaits you. You may choose to work through this on your own, with the support of your family and friends, or if you want to work with a coach. Whatever way you choose, make sure you equip yourself with the tools, knowledge, and support to create a future that's filled with excitement, growth, and genuine happiness. Once you get started, the closer you are to unlocking your unique gateway to your midlife adventure!

Further reading:

  1. "The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50" by Jonathan Rauch: A book that explores the reasons behind the happiness curve and offers insights into how to embrace the second half of life.

  2. "Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up" by James Hollis: Hollis delves into the psychological challenges faced during midlife and provides guidance on creating a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

  3. "Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes" by William Bridges: Offering practical advice and strategies for navigating life's many transitions, including those experienced during a midlife crisis.

  4. "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" by Brené Brown: This book encourages readers to embrace their authentic selves and live a wholehearted life, which can be especially helpful during a midlife crisis.

  5. "Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life" by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans: Providing tools and exercises for redesigning one's life, career, and relationships, making it a valuable resource for those seeking direction and purpose during a midlife crisis.

  6. “Midlife: A Philosophical Guide” by Kieran Setiya: A thought-provoking exploration of the challenges and opportunities presented by midlife transitions. Drawing on insights from philosophy, psychology, and literature, Setiya offers readers a fresh perspective on the nature of midlife crises and provides practical advice on finding meaning, satisfaction, and fulfillment during this crucial phase of life.


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